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There it is…
The email that I may be expected and certainly did not hope for…

That I was not able to travel to Thailand on my planned date 22nd of April was clear pretty soon…
For the ones who do not know, I chose for alternative Thyroid Cancer treatment over there, while in The Netherlands an invasive operation is the only option.

Still, I was pretty positive that 2 or 3 weeks later I would still be able to continue the treatment and borders would be open again.
I was telling my parent that it still looked pretty good for the traveling and 5 minutes later I opened my inbox.
Boarders will be closed for all aircrafts until at least 31 May…

Where I would have had a nervous breakdown of Magnitude in the Past.
This time I remained calm.

Something was different in my world, something was weird, something changed…
There was no panic…there was no upset…there was simply no adrenaline…

The only thing that I kept hearing was:
“There is always a possibility to trust that the Universe has your Back”

This were my own words during a class I facilitated a week before.
Ever since I chose to go outside the path of “normal” this was one of my demands…knowing that the universe has my back, while having my own back at the same time.
And honestly, it sometimes is an extremely uncomfortable space to be in and with.
People around you might not understand what you are choosing.
You have whole conversations with the Universe, asking for awareness Clarity and Choice in what will create the greatest Future. With moments you are fighting with doubt and fear.
I learned to be oké with the Fear and Doubt, to just stop the fight.
I also learned that the more I choose allowance with me and for me, the less these moments appear to get me off grit.

This time there was such a huge silence in my world even though all sorts of sensations in my throat keep asking for my attention. Tears running down my face while I know that this is just another invitation to UP my demand for Consciousness and Trust.

One of the things that became clear to be is the for me the whole reason that makes life worth living, is the fact that we get to experience the Magic of Embodiment.
The fact that we get to receive MAGIC, when we would be willing to…

So how much more would I have to step into BEING a MIRACLE to just change this?
Nothing outside of us is required and although it can all contribute to a greater sense of receiving and a greater possibility, for us to BE MAGIC we don’t need anything or anybody.

I have been doing it for a few days now and lets ask again for a Miracle to show up.

What else is possible with Healing, Nurturing, Listening and Trusting our Bodies?
Sweet Sweet body, what is the truth here and what do you require and desire?

For now, I choose to be with everything that seems to show up in my body at this moment and while typing I know that everything is the opposite of what it appears to be.
That everything can and will change as long as I allow it.

There is ALWAYS another choice, another possibility, another way…

I know that there are many of you out there contributing their energy and positive thoughts and my gratitude for that if off the charge!

With love,
Saskia ❤️